first RANT.

i am not a writer, i don't know how to compose a worth reading article or at least a one that make sense.

anyway, nuffsed.

first blog is about how i hate my WORK, literally.

This past few months i'd been getting a lot of scolding from my boss, even for things that i didn't do which made me a little defensive (not really little..) that one moment i just burst out and let my thoughts come out from my unstoppable mouth, worlds like "you make me feel stupid, i don't trust my work anymore because of you and blah blah blah" comes back and forth from the room where me and my boss is the only audience *so far*. After breaking out, i was shocked, anxious.. for a while i thought i will lose my job, but no i didn't. She was speechless, i am too.. days goes by and we got ok.

I cant blame her NAGGY attitude, considering she is still single at the age of 40+ (seriously, what do you expect?). The responsibility on her head is twice/thrice as much as i have for the system we were baby-sitting for years. But she is the boss, i am no one but a peasant in the company. I used to be a dedicated worker, but my dedication stowaway, nowhere to be found.

Today, i did my usual routine, woke up by 640am, took a bath and catch the 745am bus in time for my 9am work, but FAILED, the usual 1.15 travel time turned out to be almost 1.30 to 1.45hrs, i am late. To top it all, i passed by my Boss' boss in the lobby, how fortunate i can be (random rolling eyes).

The day seemed normal, but my feelings aren't.. i am not happy with what i am doing. I want to let loose, the feelings i have about my work is strangling me.. i can no longer breath, i am SAD.

but dear readers, i cant just quit. The responsibility i have now is way too much for my ego to supersede, i am defenseless, helpless and without CHOICE.

So yes, tmr, i will have to endure again the same routine and i hope i can surpass this phase of my life. I hope to get a new job soon (i'd been eagerly looking, but its not easy. dont judge me).

gdnyt.